How to catch and keep a man!

Catching a man is not all that difficult; keeping him is the hard part. Here are a few of my thoughts on how to keep that man interested and coming back for more and while I’ve jested about this topic previously, what follows is the real deal ladies! Ignore this information at your peril!

First a list of dos and don’ts then explanatory notes to follow.

Don’t!

- Don’t sleep with him on first date
- Don’t take him straight home to meet your kids
- Don’t have him stay over when its just casual and your kids are around
- Don’t initiate phone calls, texts or emails. Only reply to HIS calls and NOT immediately, leave a short delay.
- Don’t talk to him about more commitment, moving in, and marriage. * Don’t tell him everything there is to know about you. Retain an air of mystery.
- Don’t self deprecate. Modesty is one thing, but confidence is very attractive, insecurity is not!

Do

- Be good entertaining witty company
- Make him a fabulous breakfast the morning after the night before
- Allow him to be his own person
- Graciously accept any gifts
- Let him know how busy and popular you are
- Take care of your appearance
- Compliment him - but be sincere. Men almost never compliment each other so a compliment means more to a man than to a female who may receive them from female pals as well as other men.

The reasons behind all this are very simple and can be summarized in one sentence and that is that men are competitive creatures. There is no competition if you hand him the prize when he hasn’t even been in a race!

A man will not put in any effort at all in wooing you if no effort is required. If you are always available when he calls, and give him sex whenever he desires, then he will see you (use you) at his convenience. He will be confident should he drop you that he can pick you up again when the mood takes him or when he’s freshly single again.

Men who date women that are literally at their beck and call take them for granted. I’ve heard male friends say it many times ’she’s not going anywhere, I can do what I like’ and worse ’she’s desperate to keep me, she’ll do anything’.

You may think that you need to let him know you’re interested to keep him interested. That is not the case. Men tend to enjoy the element of challenge involved in capturing the heart of women who seemed unattainable. Men are competitive creatures, never forget that. Let them exercise their competitive skills trying to catch and keep you rather than making it game set and match to him in the first ball game!

With regards to the kids, many men may think they don’t want a relationship (yet they want sex) with a woman with children. The way to cement that feeling is to introduce them to the children too soon. If you make it clear to any new man, he’ll not be seeing your kids till you are confident he is worthy, the competition is on! He has to prove his worthiness and when you refuse to let him see the kids, he knows he has to try harder to show you he’s a keeper. He will ask to meet the kids if he’s a keeper. Don’t ever be the first to suggest this one!

Finally, men want to feel that you are a prize, hence the need to compete for your affections, and they want to feel that they themselves are prizes. So, if you take them home too soon, they may assume you take everyman you meet home. This lowers their feeling of being a ‘prize’. If they are to feel ’special’ they need to feel that you have somehow saved yourself just for them. In today’s modern world this is not easy, but it can be achieved by simply making it clear that you don’t just date anyone, don’t just sleep with anyone and appreciate him for his ’special’ qualities. Make sure you have a list of those handy!! Now read those rules again!

NOTE: These rules should only be necessary for the first few weeks while you wait for that first call back! Once you have established a relationship and are dating, relax the rules and enjoy each others company without any strategic planning!

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